A Laestadian dies and goes to heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates.
St. Peter says, ”Here’s how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in.”
”Okay,” the Laestadian says, ”I married the only woman I ever kissed and we had 13 children and 60 grandchildren, all still in the church.”
”That’s wonderful,” says St. Peter, ”that’s worth three points!”
”Three points?” he says. ”Well, I went to June meetings every year, repented every Sunday, never drank a drop of whiskey and never watched TV.”
”Terrific!” says St. Peter, ”that’s certainly worth a point.”
”One point? Golly. How about this: I never turned on the radio in my car, even when I was alone, and have never used the internets.”
”Fantastic, that’s good for two points,” he says.
”TWO POINTS!!” the man cries, ”At this rate the only way I get into heaven is by the grace of God!”
”Come on in!